Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Father's Day!
Before uttering the cheery words, putting them in an email, sending them off in a card or saying them in person or over a phone - think about the person you intend to shower them over.
If recently they experienced the death of a loved one, chances are "happy" is not their current condition.
For anyone having lost a child, whether they were 7 or 57 years of age, the unending ache of loss is coupled with a strong sense of unbalance. The older generation survived when the younger one died.
Should it be the first birthday or holiday without a loved one - the day is often fraught with emotion. The celebrant might not have had the chance or inclination to develop new customs.
Again, sensitivity is key.
Don't call up with salutations that settle in the past.
"Do you remember this time last year the four of us celebrated at that fabulous French restaurant? Oh, how we laughed that night."
No, no and no. Your stirring up memories can still tug on a raw heart and cause more pain. That is far from your intention.
Also, do not let the day slip by unnoticed...even if your friend has said they intend to stay in bed all day.
Instead, if you are nearby - call ahead.
"Hey, next Wednesday is your birthday, and I understand if you are not up for a big party. However, it is your special day. So no arguments as I am stopping by at 6:45am with coffee and those sinful brownies from Jake's Bakery. No worries - you will be to work on time."
At the very least find a blank card or fold a piece of paper. Inside write a personal note to acknowledge someone's special day. No worries if you are not Shakespeare. Be unafraid to let your heart guide your words. Often just a few lines of why you appreciate this person is the perfect touch.
Perhaps the best gift you can offer is the continuation of healing, and letting a friend know they are not alone on a special day.
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