The Sweetness of Grief

Grief transforms us.

How, depends on the individual.

Some, unfortunately, fall into an abyss by abusing alcohol, drug or food. Others, no longer able to discover life's joys, settle into a routine of continuous self-pity. A number of people, burdened with a lack of purpose in their own lives attempt squashing it out of others' through abrasive words and selfish actions.

Many recognize a transformation even when snared by the deepest recesses of grief. 
Possessing that knowledge does not grant instant relief. However, it does offer the best path for eventual healing.

Bitterness, in varying degrees, takes hold of most of us when loss occurs. Its weight can be crushing, until you are able to extract some sweetness from it.

Sweetness?

My heart is broken and my soul shattered, and I am to find a dulcet element here?

Unwashed grapes, dirty with dust, a few bugs and a spider web or two are not usually sweet to the taste during harvest.  A crushing, under great pressure, begins the wine-making process. What results after time is the transformation of those grapes into an object of pleasure.

When pangs of sadness and tentacles of grief threaten to pull you away from recovery - find a moment and think. 

Where during the grief-causing situation and its follow-up did I have courage? 

If it wasn't courage, perhaps it was compassion or selflessness?

It did not have to be a major event, but any place where a better you surfaced briefly.

Seize that time and build upon it.

Replicate the scenario or find another to empower yourself. Do not fear the love, kindness, patience and compassion that will arise.  The emotions salve your wounds and bind your broken heart to care again.

The pain's sharpness lessens and soon the sweetness of grief allows you to proceed healthier into your new life. 

One where hopefully joy and contentment are predominate emotions.

Transforming Grief into Activism: The Sandy Hook Promise

_{The Sandy Hook
PROMISE}

Our hearts are broken;
Our spirit is not.

And it is with this knowledge
that we are able to move forward
with purpose…and strength…

This is a Promise

To support our own
our families, our neighbors, our teachers, our community
with dedication and love
as well as the material and financial needs they will require
in the days ahead.

This is a Promise

To truly honor the lives lost
by turning our tragedy into a moment of transformation.

This is a Promise

To be open to all possibilities.
There is no agenda other than to make
our community and our nation a safer, better place.

This is a Promise

To have the conversations on ALL the issues
Conversations where listening is as important as speaking.
Conversations where even those with the most opposing views
can debate in good will.

This is a Promise

To turn the conversation into actions.
Things must change.
This is the time.

This is a Promise

We make to our precious children.
Because each child, every human life is filled with promise,
and though we continue to be filled with unbearable pain
we choose love, belief, and hope
instead of anger.

This is a Promise

To do everything in our power to be remembered
not as the town filled with grief and victims;
but as the place where
real change began.

Our hearts are broken;
Our spirit is not.

This is our promise.

Click here to read the their website.

Watch the Wheelers and Peter Yarrow being interviewed by Bill Moyers.